Posted to Facebook 1/24/2017 7:42 PM
"Hey, everyone. Important announcement. My name is Mark Shatman. I have been an employee of Nabisco Corp for many years and I'd like to publically apologize for creating Oregano-Flavored Oreos, the world's most hated Oreos.
I really messed up. I thought people would like this flavor. I was wrong. Oregano is a great taste and I incorporate it into a lot of my salads and whatnot. That's why I told everyone at work to make it an Oreo. This was bad.
Oregano Oreos are also considered bad in a not woke context as well. I didn't think about this but Oregano is Italian and when we put them in an American predominently-white/black cookies that wasn't woke and disrespectful to the Italian heritage.
To our Italian fans, Mi dispiace. That's Italian for 'I'm sorry' which I am.
Also, I lost my job. Oreos fired me for being so dumb. I guess I deserve this. Everyone online is criticizing me. Buzzfeed, Anime Twitter, 4chan, Soundcloud rappers, The President.
I take full responsibility for my actions. Oreo had nothing to do with this. I made them do Oregano Oreos. It was me, folks.
Ahhh, crap.
Well, this is Mark Shatman.
Signing off,
God Bless you."
THE END
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