STORY TIME: I Left My Son At A Restaurant On Accident To Teach Him An Important Lesson

Last weekend, my son and I had a really nice time at our local Frisch's Big Boy restaurant.

We had such a good time that I accidentally left him there.

I know, I know, you probably all think I'm some sort of bad parent or something.  I'm not.  I actually left him there on accident for a reason.  Sons need to learn life lessons and my carelessness as a father taught him something important that day.

There, at Frisch's, my son learned that the world is a cruel, unforgiving place.  A place filled with fish fillets, grilled cheese and onion rings.

None of these foods are healthy.  If my son wants to be big and strong he needs to be trapped in a Frisch's Big Boy to learn how to navigate the temptations of unhealthy eating.

Also, my son didn't know what to do in this situation nor did he know where I was.  That's another important lesson - life doesn't come with a "guidebook."  No one's going to help you along.  You have to fend for yourself at Frisch's Big Boy.  My son got a crash test in this lesson at the early age of three.

Another thing the shift manager at Frisch's mentioned was that my son kept calling out "Mommy."  My son was apparently traumatized by this ordeal.  He decided to yell for his mother to come help him.  She didn't come, obviously.  This is another important lesson my three-year-old learned.  Whining like a snowflake doesn't get you anything.  No one is going to wipe up your liberal tears at Frisch's Big Boy, you stupid baby.

Yes, I did leave my son at Frisch's, but it's not for the reason you think.  I left him there on accident.  However, through my utter recklessness, I taught him the most important lesson of all...don't let me leave you at a Frisch's, idiot.

THE END