Dear Dean,
I realize now that Cheez-Its were not an appropriate wedding gift. Especially since I had already opened the Cheese-It box and was eating them as I entered the wedding.
Your second wedding will be very different. I promise, Dean, it will be nothing like you last wedding. This wedding, I'm going to be better. I've been working on myself mentally and physically. I've been doing a lot of self-care. I've been eating Cheese-Its, sure, but not at any weddings. Not since your last wedding.
Your second wedding is going to rule. Were going to have bubbles and cake and probably other stuff. Everyone is going to be like, "Hey, remember Dean's wedding? Do you mean his second one? Yeah, that one ruled. It ruled even harder than his first!"
I'm really excited to meet your new wife, Dean. What's her name again Belinda? McLenda? Anyway, she's probably great.
Dean, I have to get something off my chest before you wed again. I can't help but think that my eating Cheese-Its at your wedding had something to do with the collapse of your first marriage. I realize now that could have been a factor. I hope you will forgive me.
Anyway, I trust that my wedding invitation will be arriving shortly in the mail. I just saw on Facebook that you posted some 2nd wedding photos. I assume those pictures are from some sort of rehearsal dinner or practice wedding that you forgot to invite me to. In the meantime, I shall wait patiently by the mailbox.
Thank you so much Dean. We will always be friends,
Grant Chambers D.D.S.
P.S. I will also be bringing some Cheese-Its again this time.
THE END
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