STORY TIME: I Fell in Love with a Houseplant

I wouldn't have said anything.  I would have walked away.  I just couldn't help myself.

I was walking home from school one day and there she was.

A beautiful houseplant.

She was just sitting there, waiting for the bus.

It was love at first sight.

Her name was Pep.  Peperomia.

I couldn't help but compliment her leaves.

She turned green.  I asked if she was sick.  Turns out she's always green.  What an embarrassing faux pas.

We liked the same things.  Water, sunlight, etc.  I even tried to get her into some of my favorite bands.  Turns out she didn't have ears.

I walked her home.

It got dark and I asked her if she would be ok in the moonlight.  Turns out she's excellent in low light as well.

Makes sense.  I just wanted to keep her indoors.  All to myself.

Then the big night came.  The school dance.  I was wearing the best tuxedo money could by.  It was a middle school dance so there really was no need for me to be wearing a tux.  Nevertheless, I had to impress Pep.

I will never forget that night.  I waited for her for hours.  I threw rocks at her window.

A week later I learned what happened.

She left me.  She left me for a radiator.

THE END