STORY TIME: Mr. Pibb is Actually a Huge Jerk

Ok, so I waited in line for about 40 minutes.  I didn't even want to see Mr. Pibb or get his autograph but my brother was a huge fan so I went with him.

We made it up to the front and there's a bunch of kids standing around.  The whole time I'm thinking to myself, "Ok, I'm funny.  I always make jokes at school.  What's something funny I can say to Mr. Pibb. Something that will get a rise out of him.  I want to show Mr. Pibb that I'm funny, right?"

So we get up to Mr. Pibb and I whisper into his ear, I say, "ehh, Mr. Pibb you ever think about going back and getting your degree?"

At that moment, Mr. Pibb turned ghostly white.  He grabbed me by the scruff of my shirt and said, "you listen hear boy, not everyone who goes to college is smart, and not everyone who's smart goes to college."  I was terrified.  He continued,  "it ain't right to criticize a man for going into the working world instead of getting a degree.  College isn't for everyone you know."

"Geez, mister." I said, "I was only making a joke."

"Oh yeah?  Well jokes hurt feelings and hurt feelings are no joke."

Mr. Pibb released me.  My brother got an autographed soda can and we made our way to the front door of the convention center.  Mom was waiting for us in the parking lot.  We piled into the van.

"How was Soda-Con boys?"  I was silent.  "Ronnie, how was meeting your favorite soda, Mr. Pibb?  Are you going to answer me?"

"Good," I said. I looked out the window of the minivan.

"Well that's just great, boys.  Want dad to pick us up some soda on his way home from work?"

"No, I think I'm good actually."  I replied.  Rain began to fall, droplets began rolling down the car window.  Mom hit the wipers.  I sat and truly thought about what Mr. Pibb said.  Jokes hurt feelings and hurt feelings are no joke.  I sighed.  Mr. Pibb is actually a huge jerk.

THE END