STORY TIME: Van Halen Shattered My Marriage

Ok, so I love Van Halen and my wife really doesn't like them.

This is how my story starts:

I was listening to Van Halen in the garage one day, and my wife just bursts in.

My wife started saying stuff like: "Hey, please turn this music down," and "I've had a really hard day," and "this music is disrupting my nap."

You know, complete B.S.-type stuff my wife is always saying.

Then I was all like, "Well, why do you have to ruin everything, Karen!  You know I love hanging out in the garage!  You know I love Van Halen, Karen!"

Then I smashed a plate.

My wife left me because of this.  I am a very sad and lonely man now.  I live alone in a big house on the side of a hill.  It overlooks a small town in Iowa.  It is here where I will live out the rest of my days, forever contemplating my foolish actions.

This is all because of the band Van Halen.  Van Halen shattered my marriage.

THE END