STORY TIME: I'm Twelve Years Old, That's Old Enough To See Major Payne

I'm twelve now.  I have to admit it feels good.  I feel older, cooler and more mature overall.  I even have a pube.

Let me just say this to anyone younger that may be reading: being twelve comes with its perks.  For instance, I'm old enough to watch Major Payne now.

I was over at my friend Issac's house yesterday and he wanted to watch a movie.  I said, "Ok, that's fine but I need to call my mom first so she can approve the movie we watch."

"You have to call your mom?"  Issac laughed.  "What a loser.  I'm gonna call my mom.  Hey, mom!"

Issac's mom replied from the other room, "Yes, sweetie."

"Eddie has to call his mom to ask permission to watch a movie!  Isn't that so lame, mom?"

"Yeah, that is pretty lame."  Issac's mom laughed and laughed.  I pulled out my Motorola and dialed ICE.

"Hey, mom?"

"What is it, Eddie?"

"Can I watch Major Payne?"

"What's it rated?"

"33% on Rotten Tomatoes."

"No, honey what's the MPAA rating?"

"PG-13."

"Hmmm...I don't know.  You're not thirteen yet."

"Mom, come on."

"Eddie, I can't just let you watch every PG-13 movie, ok?"

"Mom, you know what?"

"What Eddie?"

"Screw the MPAA!  I'm twelve and I think I'm old enough to watch Major Payne, ok.  I'm sick of everyone laughing at me.  Issac laughed at me, Mrs. Sanjaya laughed at me, the dang MPAA is probably laughing their butts off right now!"

"Ok, well if you feel that strongly.  I guess you can see it."

"Thanks, mom."  I hung up the phone.  I turned to Issac, "Time for some...Major Payne."

Yeah, I guess you could say being twelve is pretty sweet.  I think I might have another pube coming in as well.

THE END